An Unready Heart of Mine: A Disastrous Valentine That I Should Forget

The start of my 2013 wasn't good. I thought I was ready, but I wasn't.

There was a guy, 6 years older than me. We met at the same workplace but different field. He decided to pursue me and I let him prove that he's worth it. But everything had changed when a sudden thing happened that I never expected. That thing was a kiss; a kiss that supposed to be memorable, but for me that was a disaster. In fact he said 'I love you' so fast... For me, it's kinda weird and awkward that he's never been my bo. Yeah, he came to my life at a wrong time. But now, I'm fully decided not to entertain guys until I am ready to fall in love and be in a relationship.

Since I'm a music lover, I made a list of songs plus lyrics that I can relate to my recent life.

M2M - Don't Say You Love Me

You're moving too fast I don't understand you 

I'm not ready yet baby I can't pretend 

No I can't 

The best I can do is tell you to talk to me 

It's possible eventual 

Love will find a way 

Don't say you love me 

You don't even know me 

If you really want me 

Then give me some time 

Don't go there baby 

Not before I'm ready 

Don't say your heart's in a hurry 

It's not like we're gonna get married 

Give me, give me some time 

Jojo - Disaster

You shot the bullet, you shot the bullet that killed me

Not feeling my heart beat, and I was dying

I, I've been through it

I, I've been through the all agony

And now my eyes I'm trying, trying, no more crying

Lying's just a game

So disaster strikes and I'm all right 'cause my love's on his way

'Cause the walls burned up and our love fell down

And it turned into whatever now we're saying never

Feel the fire 'cause it's all around and it's burning

For forever and always

We gotta let it go, be on our way

Look for another day, 'cause it ain't the same my baby

Watch it all fall too the ground

No happy ever after, just disaster

Joss Stone - You Had Me

You tried to trade on my naivete

But the things you do and say embarrass me

See once upon a time I was your fool

But the one I leave behind is you

Hey listen you'll be missin'

Out on all my love and my kissing

Make your mistakes on your own time

When you come down you're just no good to have around

Instead of making money you took mine

You had me

You lost me

You're wasted

You cost me

I don't want you here messing with my mind

I've realized in time

that my eyes are not blind

I've seen it before

I'm taking back my life

Nina - I Don't Want To Be Your Friend

I'll forget we ever met

I'll forget I ever let

Ever let u into this heart of mine baby

You just gotta let me be

You gotta keep away from me

Coz all I want is just to be free from you baby

Don't you come around

And say you still care

About me, just go now , go now

Don't call me in the middle of the night no more

Don't expect me to be there

Don't think that it'll be the way it was before

Don't think that i care

I'm not over you yet

And i don't wanna be your friend

Jojo - Too Little Too Late

I was young

And in love

I gave you everything

But it wasn't enough

And now you wanna communicate (You know it's just too little too late)

Go find someone else

In letting you go

I'm loving myself

You got a problem

But don't come asking me for help

'Cause you know...

It's just too little too late

a little too wrong

And I can't wait

But you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)

You say you dream of my face

But you don't like me

You just like the chase

To be real

It doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)

Taylor Swift - We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

Then you come around again and say

Baby, I miss you and I swear I'm gonna change

Trust me, remember how that lasted for a day

I say, I hate you, we break up, you call me, I love you

Oooh we called it off again last night

But Oooh, this time I'm telling you, I'm telling you

We are never ever ever getting back together

We are never ever ever getting back together

You go talk to your friends talk

To my friends talk to me

But we are never ever ever ever getting back together

To conclude, I will wait for my Prince Charming to come into my life for as long as there's a guy who will accept, care, and love me and my family.  

2013: The Year of the Water Snake

The year of the water snake has entered. Traditions and predictions were talk-of-the-town. Chinese community from different countries celebrated, including the Philippines.

I was born on the year of earth snake (1989). According from the US Bridal Guide's Chinese Horoscope, earth snakes are the most relaxed of the breeds. They lead calm lives and offer a down-to-earth appeal to any conversation or outing. This may make them seem more friendly, as you may not feel the need to wonder what he’s got up his sleeve. They may also shun the need to lash out or take risks, but it isn’t from paranoia. They figure their good sense and work ethic will pay off and bring them much fortune and material satisfaction. In addition, one of the most beautiful breeds of the Snake, (because my zodiac sign is Libra) Libran Snakes are graceful and kind. They are always being pursued by someone interested in them and fall deeply in love with the right partner. Hmm... Those were absolutely true.

As a K-Pop fan, I made a list of K-Pop idols (who I know) who were born on the year of earth snake.

Jokwon (2AM)

August 28, 1989

Wooyoung (2PM)

April 30, 1989

Hyunseung (B2ST / Trouble Maker)

September 3, 1989

Yonghwa (CN Blue)

June 22, 1989

Onew (SHINee)

December 14, 1989

Henry (Super Junior-M)

October 11, 1989

Taeyeon (Girls’ Generation)

March 9, 1989 

Yuri (Girls’ Generation)

December 5, 1989

Tiffany (Girls’ Generation)

August 1, 1989

Hyoyeon (Girls’ Generation)

September 22, 1989 

Sunny (Girls’ Generation)

May 15, 1989

Jessica (Girls’ Generation)

April 18, 1989

Sunye (Wonder Girls)

August 12, 1989

Yenny (Wonder Girls)

May 26, 1989 

Ailee

May 30, 1989

As I conclude this article, the more important in life is prayer and hard work. Those predictions in career, health, and love regarding our Chinese zodiac signs are only a guide. 

Gong xi fa cai! Kung hei fat choi! Xin nian kuai le! Hope you have a prosperous year of the water snake.

My 2012 Kaleidoscope Diary

2012 was such a great year for me though there were hardships and challenges. It's not easy but at least I am very happy. I will make a summary of the most memorable dates for the year..

10 January
I opened my own Blogspot account.

03 February
Goodbye braces, hello retainers!

18 February
I started training at a free sing/dance/acting workshop along E. Rodriguez Sr. Ave., Quezon City.

24 June
Grand recital... I would never forget my solo performance as Olivia Newton-John and sang one of the theme songs from Grease which is "Hopelessly Devoted To You".

09 September
My bestfriend and I saw each other at Trinoma to celebrate her birthday. I was only the two of us but we were so happy that time. I gave her 5 gifts including a birthday card and a Precious Hearts Romances pocket book. Hope we see each other again soon because I suddenly miss her.

05 October
I turned 23 with a special smile on my face: HIRED!

10 October
First training day as store operations officer.

26 October
I watched Princess Velasco as she launched her latest album "Acoustic Princess II" at Eastwood Open Park. I bought her CD, let her sign it with my name, and took a picture with her .

07 November
Shopping galore at Etude House SM City North EDSA The Block! I splurge PhP 2000 from my training allowance to receive a gift: SHINee Diary!

11 December
My sister, her husband, and her son went home to have a vacation for 16 days.

13 December
The company's Christmas party! It's our branch's night because we won two awards: Best Branch and Best Presentation. Plus our senior stylist 2 grabbed most of the special awards. The memorable moment? I surprised the employees with my solo performance which they knew that I was a shy type of person, but when I was on stage, I was a different person. I performed SNSD's "The Boys" (which I almost perfectly danced the steps for more than a year -- it's my favorite KPop song of 2011!) and Hayley Westenra's "Always With Me."

14 December
It was SHINee's Onew's birthday. But my family celebrated the post birthday of my first nephew at McDonald's Quezon Avenue. In addition, I received my first salary.

21 December
End of the world? Nah! It's the wedding day of my brother! I became a secondary sponsor. It was my first time and I didn't know how I put the veil at the bride's side. But at least the wedding coordinator helped me.

24 December
Christmas rush! Well, I just bought a gift for my sister-in-law at Etude House SM City Manila. At the same time I also bought other products there to receive a gift from my favorite Korean brand. It's Kiss Note!



Also, 2012 was a year of music. All genres make on top, whether it is KPop, OPM, or others. Here are top 10 of my favorite songs from KPop, OPM, and outside Asia that were released this year.

KPOP:

10. Secret "Poison"

Well, I don't like the girl group Secret. But when they released the song "Poison", I'm starting to like them. My bias is Sunhwa. She's really pretty. Their MV was different apart from their previous hits like "Shy Boy".

09. Psy "Gangnam Style"

It's very addictive song. The horse-riding type of dance made history in the world. Even Hollywood stars like Madonna, Britney Spears, and David Hasselhoff did their own Gangnam style. The MV featured 4minute member HyunA.

08. TaeTiSeo "Twinkle"

A sub-unit of Girls Generation which showed the vocal prowess of these three pretty girls Taeyeon, Tiffany, and Seohyun. It's a cute dance, featuring the octopus step. The MV featured the members of EXO.

07. f(x) "Electric Shock"

An electrifying hit from these five talented girls. They're under SM Entertainment label that's why I like them. My biases are Luna and Amber.

06. Big Bang "Fantastic Baby"

I was attracted on TOP's line "Boom Shakalaka". The stylish guys of Big Bang released their latest album called Alive. I suddenly liked TOP in the MV because of his blue hair.

05. CNBlue "Hey You"

"Goodbye darling Hey You, oh my darling Hey You" and "Duruduru durudu blah blah, duruduru durudu no no, once again back again, beautiful beautiful beautiful one day" were the memorable lines that I got addicted to it. Yonghwa is my bias but I was surprised that CNBlue Jonghyun is very close with SHINee Jonghyun.

04. Jessica & Krystal "Butterfly"

It's an adorable song from the drama series "To The Beautiful You" which sung by the Jung sisters from SM Entertainment. I anticipated the Korean version of Hana Kimi which turned out to be the best among its versions from Taiwan and Japan. Other song from this soundtrack that I also like is Stand Up by J-Min.

03. Super Junior "Sexy, Free, and Single"

After Kangin released from military service and before Leeteuk entered the army, Super Junior released their 6th album called Sexy, Free, and Single. Actually this song was as addictive as Mr. Simple.

02. BoA "Only One"

Self-titled and self-composed by the KPop queen which was released last July. I like the song so much though the choreography was so complicated. But when it comes to her MV, I like the drama version more than the dance version.

01. SHINee "Sherlock"

"Oh I'm curious yeah!" When I heard this line, I sang along with this five shining boys. I turned Shawol after I noticed Jonghyun. Then when To The Beautiful You aired, I suddenly attracted to Minho. Well, I memorized the steps by watching the MV many times; same with what I did when Girls Generation released their song "The Boys".

OPM:

10. Never The Strangers "Moving Closer"

Theme song from a toothpaste commercial. When I hear this song, I want to feel how to be in love with that special someone.

09. Sarah Geronimo, Gary Valenciano and Somedaydream "Tuloy"

Theme song from a soda beverage company. The collaboration of this country's Popstar Princess, Mr. Pure Energy, and phenomenal rookie artist of 2011 was awesome.

08. Gloc-9 feat. Ebe Dancel "Sirena"

An inspirational song for third sex. All must treat each other equally, whatever your gender is.

07. Christian Bautista and Angeline Quinto "In Love With You"

A nice remake popularized by two of the top singers of recent generation. I thought this song was from a movie or a drama series, but it's not.

06. Martin Nievera and Vina Morales "After All"

Theme song from a drama series A Beautiful Affair starring Bea Alonzo and John Lloyd Cruz. Their chemistry on-screen was already a decade though they're not lovers in real life. Though I'm not a Bea-John Lloyd fan, but when I hear a theme song from any of their drama/movie, I easily remember their love team.

05. Erik Santos and Angeline Quinto "Suddenly It's Magic"

Theme song from a movie produced by Star Cinema starring Erich Gonzales and Thai actor Mario Maurer. Their version of a Cunnie Williams original was so fresh.

04. Sarah Geronimo "Anak"

The 2012 Mnet Asian Music Awards Best Asian Artist-Philippines sang a modern pop-rock version of a Freddie Aguilar original that's included in her latest album called Pure OPM Classics.

03. Kamikazee feat. Kyla "Huling Sayaw"

A funny rock band collaborated with RnB princess in a nice track under Kamikazee's recent album Romantico.

02. Sarah Geronimo "Bakit Pa Ba"

One of the Philippines' music royalty released her own version of RnB prince Jay-R original. I like her version.

01. Parokya ni Edgar feat. Frank Magalona and Gloc-9 "Bagsakan"

The original of this song was rapped by master rapper and Frank's father Francis Magalona. I really liked this song and admired the rapping skill of Gloc-9.

OUTSIDE ASIA:

10. B.o.B. feat. Taylor Swift "Both of Us"

Kinda hiphop song, but I just want Taylor's chorus part.

09. Justin Bieber "Boyfriend"

When I watched this music video, I started to like Justin. It's because of his new look and I realized how handsome he is, unlike before during his debut single Baby was released.

08. Carly Rae Jepsen "Call Me Maybe"

The phenomenal song of 2012 before Psy's Gangnam Style. A lot of video parodies made but I would never forget Justin-Selena's (USA) and Anne-Georgina's (Philippines) versions.

07. Demi Lovato "Give Your Heart A Break"

The song was released in early 2012 by this Camp Rock star from her latest album Unbroken. Though I like her first released track from the said album more which is Skyscraper, I idolized her because she survived those controversies.

06. Maroon 5 feat. Wiz Khalifa "Payphone"

My favorite song from Maroon 5. The chorus part is very addictive.

05. Taylor Swift "I Knew You Were Trouble"

Included in her recent album Red, though its MV was released in late 2012. I love her songs that she released, including this one.

04. Ke$ha "Die Young"

Sexier Ke$ha with a wild side. I'm very addicted to this song. I like her since she released her debut single TikTok.

03. Taylor Swift feat. The Civil Wars "Safe and Sound"

Theme song from the blockbuster movie The Hunger Games. Though the music video didn't feature the clips from the movie, but the necklace that Taylor's holding at the middle of the video was a sign that the song was included in that movie soundtrack.

02. Katy Perry "Wide Awake"

My favorite song from Katy Perry. I noticed her fabulous purple hair. The song is very inspirational, indeed.

01. Taylor Swift "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together"

A heartbreaking but a happy song. I love the music video and her red lipstick, in relation with her latest album Red.



It's already 2013. I'm hoping this current year would be as good and nice as last year.



(Photo credits used as marked in this article. Click the picture for source.)